It's official ladies and gentleman. I am no longer a Freshman in college and that feeling is one of the weirdest I have ever felt. Yesterday I was in the car for a good six hours and I could not help but go back to last August when I packed everything in my car and made the same drive down to Fort Worth, TX, to begin the journey of a lifetime. The journey of becoming an adult. I honestly don't like to think back to those days because I remember being so scared. I can't even describe how scared I was. I was so unsure. I was taking a huge leap of faith which the results, only time would tell. I am here 9 months later and the results are in and they are not what I expected.
A lot of my anxiety was normal and I know the devil brought a lot of that on. I can easily see how bad this year could have gone, and at times it did, but overall, it was the biggest blessing ever. Freshman year is something you really only understand if you have been through it yourself. I have so many things to share about the year, but for me they all are centered around what I learned. This year taught me more about myself in and out of the classroom than anything else ever has. As hard as that was, I am so thankful for it.
-My relationship with God grew and grew and I can honestly say that thanks to freshman year it is stronger than it ever was. I think back to times that I was so sad and so afraid. Going to TCU, taking tests, rush, making friends, missing family and friends, etc. At times I felt very broken. I tried to find a church, but that was hard to. Everything, for the first time, was hard at once and I was struggling with handling that. But once I realized how important my relationship with God was, everything became so good. I found a group of people to go to a church with and I am so thankful for them and my church at TCU. It is different, but I look forward to it every week and I will miss that fellowship this summer.It took longer than you all probably know, but once I realized the importance of this relationship, Freshman year became a whole lot easier. Having faith in his plan for me is the most important thing I learned this year.
-When I got home last night my whole family was here for mothers day tomorrow and we were talking about my year. I knew that they were always there for me and how much they said they loved me, but I didn't really feel this love until I was all those miles away. We talked about how every emotion I was experiencing, they were feeling it times 10. I think about the day my parents left. They left me crying and that moment is one I try to put in the very back of my mind. It is probably one of the saddest moments I can remember. It's always hard to leave them, but this year has shown me that they are smart and how similar I am to them. They are helping me reach my dreams and goals and that is a big sacrifice. Freshmen year taught me how precious my family is.
-Some people absolutely hated high school, but going in I wanted to make the most of it. I did that and I think in some ways it made it harder to leave, but Freshman year taught me to be thankful for where I came from. Living in the city is so fun, but it in no way compares to living in a small town. I actually haven't figured out which one I like better, but after living it fort worth I have a new appreciation for my small town and the people in it. I love the support from this town. During this journey it was so encouraging to know I had my friends, teachers, church members, and everyone else in this small town right behind me. I appreciate that and needed that support a lot this year. So thank you!
- Relationships are very important to me and going into Freshman year I was afraid of that change. I knew that was going to happen, but I was scared of what that meant. Would I make new friends? What about my old friends? Would I find a fraternity?
To my first friends: thank you. I always look forward to our reunions and I love the love I have felt from you all those miles away. It has been so weird to not be with you everyday and it has been weird having that feeling that you have been "replaced." Now I know, or I hope I know, that I have not been replaced, but you know what I mean. I am so proud of you all and so proud of all you have accomplished in this first year out of high school. You are all superstars whom I love so much. Congrats on a great year... I can't wait to make memories this summer!!
To my new friends: thank you. For inviting me places. For putting up with me. For helping with insta captions. For inspiring me. For making me feel at home at TCU. For getting me t-shirts. For going to eat with me (big fear of eating alone). For teaching me how to drive in a city. For studying with me. For doing spontaneous things with me. For being there for me. For making me feel accepted at tcu. For inviting me to formals and mixers. For listening to me complain. For loving my accent. For helping me through my struggles. For making me laugh and smile. For understanding my obsession with Chick Fil A. For putting up with all my insta posts. For reading my blog and supporting my dreams. For simply loving me for who I am. This year would not have been the same without you. You deserve a huge thanks.
To my brothers: thank you. I always struggled with finding a group of guys who accepted me for who I am. I was worried that would not happen in college. Thank you for proving me wrong. I love each and every one of you and I can't imagine this freshman year without you. You make my laugh and you kill my phone battery, but I wouldn't trade that for anything. I can't wait to live together next year and become that much closer. Beta Theta Pi, thank you.
-Making the best of every situation was a for real lesson I learned this year. I was also very scared for my living situation because
1. Brachman Hall is the furthest freshman dorm on campus and there was a lot of negativity surrounding it.
2. I had no idea who my roommate was.
Brachman has been the biggest blessing EVER. It literally made my freshman year so special. The community in that place is like none I have ever felt before. Being able to always go downstairs to a full lobby of cool people made life so easy. Lots of friends and memories were made. It gave me some of my best friends.
To the ladies who were my real roommates, thank you. You helped me when I needed it most. Thanks for letting me sleep on your floor. Thanks for letting me eat your food and nap in your beds. Thanks for making me laugh too much. Thanks for giving me much needed confidence. Thanks for teaching me that I wasn't alone. Thanks for EVERYTHING. God placed you in my life for a reason that is now apparent. I love y'all.
Brachman Hall will be torn down in the next few days and that made it so hard to leave. It was a spacial place with a irreplaceable community. Hands down best part of Freshman Year.
-I learned how to study
-I learned that professors are also friends.
-I learned Freshman are all in the same boat.
-I learned how to live with someone.
-I learned all the good places to eat.
-I learned how to give a tour.
-I learned how to have two home's.
-I learned what it's like to live in Texas.
-I learned that I like adventure.
-I learned what real stress feels like.
-I learned that it is okay to fail.
-I learned to love and hate community bathrooms.
-I learned that everyone has a story.
-I learned that it's a year bittersweet coming and going.
-I learned what it means to be a horned frog.
-I learned to love TCU.
-I learned that a leap of faith is the best thing that could happen to a person... take that leap. God will be there.
-I learned how to truly be thankful.
Finally I learned, like most things, I don't know how great something is until it is gone. I remember telling myself how great things would be if I could just make it to summer and back home. Boy was I wrong. One of the hardest Goodbye's was to TCU and my friends yesterday. That truly amazes and shocks me. I never would have thought that would be the case, but man I sure am glad it is.
I don't know what the future holds this summer or for next year, but I do know that after living freshman year, I am ready for just about anything life has to offer. I learned a lot and for that I am forever thankful .
Here's to a better than average Freshman year. Beating those fears. Summer 2015. And life after a leap of faith.
Thank you for it all Freshman year... You were too good to me!
Southern and Thankful
Blessed is an understatement when it comes to my life. Each and every day I am amazed by God's steadfast love. In return, I have claimed this space to show my thanks and whatever else comes along the way. A recent graduate from Texas Christian University who loves any creative insta post, all donuts, and dress pants that make you do a double take. I pray God has a grand purpose for me and I plan to get there with a little Southern and a lot of Thanks! Join me!