You Southern people are really going to understand my pain on this one. I love the South with my whole heart, but sometimes this weather is just unreal. I mean it is the last day of January and it is supposed to be cold, but here in big Texas it was 78 degrees. I mean I love it, but it just seems like a tease because eventually when I least expect it I will walk outside, prepared for 78 degree weather, and it will be 28 degrees and I will be sadly frozen. But nonetheless, the thing to do now is enjoy what mother nature is giving us.
I told y'all that Tuesday's and Thursday's are my hardest days as far as just being all around long. Today from 9:10 to 7:30 I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am not mad about it because that is life, but all day I was rushing around thinking about the weather. How lucky am I that I got to go from place to place and give tour tests in the amazing weather? I mean it isn't like this everywhere in the world and it's January for crying out loud. We should consider this a gift.
I also got to go to dinner with Patrick and we kind of talked about how lucky / how crazy it was that we were getting to eat Tacos OUTSIDE in January. I mean that is something to be thankful for, especially in this month.
Basically I am just grateful for this weather because all day throughout the hustle and bustle it was a nice reminder to be thankful. Good weather does that to a person.
I have a test on Thursday-- first one of the semester ahhh-- so tomorrow needs to be very productive for me. I am really not prepared to start hardcore studying again, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Send up some prayers if you would. But good news, the weather is still going to be nice so that is something to look forward to. Go outside. Soak in the sun. Be thankful.
Southern and Thankful
You know those times in life when something happens, and it is so ironically unhelpful all you can do is laugh? Kind of like a "slap in the face - can't believe this is happening - i don't know what to do, but laugh" kind of thing? Yes? Well...I'm learning to appreciate those laughing moments because honestly, it's WAY better than crying or becoming angry. Right??
About two weeks ago, when I was coming back to Fort Worth after winter break, I got caught in this awful storm starting in Dallas which lasted well into the night. I drove for about an hour in this hard rain and loud thunder. And (I later found out) we were even under a tornado warning... Anyway, I digress... the whole drive I kept thinking something bad was going to happen. Idk it was just a feeling, but I couldn't shake it. I was relieved when I got back to Fort Worth and got off the interstate. I was on University Drive-- and, I LIVE ON UNIVERSITY-- so I'm thinking all clear, right? When all of the sudden, I hear this loud noise...and then this ding ding ding alerting me that my tire pressure had gone from 38 to 4 (AKA flat tire). Now this had never happened to me, so I was unsure what to do. Keep in mind, the weather is awful and I had everything I owned in my car. Therefore, I did what any clueless kid would do... I sped home as fast as I could. I got the tire replaced the next day and all was good. Soooo...you can imagine my surprise when I got it my car a week ago and the low pressure alert was on again. My friends said it was likely due to the weather so I went and put some air in it and carried on. Then, this weekend my tire pressure light came on AGAIN and I knew I was going to have to make a visit to the local tire place.
Now, did I really have time to go there for a third time and get my tire fixed? Nope. And, when I walked in again today, did the worker say, "weren't you just here?" Yep. Did the same man hand me a tiny screw 20 minutes later and tell me to watch where I was going? Yes he did. And this is when I realized the need to laugh in the moment. I couldn't really change the situation and no one was hurt or ill. Therefore, the easiest thing to do was laugh. Not because something was funny, but because this is life and sometimes life wants you to laugh at the frustrating stuff.
Let's just hope I don't have to visit the tire place again anytime soon, haha. But, did I learn something from a few flat tires and a tiny screw? Absolutely. I learned that laughing in these instances is all you really can do. This realization is something I am thankful to have learned...even at the expense of time and money. Laugh with life...it is so much more fun!
Southern and Thankful
And boom! Just like that another weekend in the books. I have been struggling here recently because last semester I didn't have Friday class AKA long weekends every weekend, but this semester I do AKA normal people weekends every weekend and I am not really a fan. It is a harsh reality having to go back to this schedule (lol). But I can't complain too much. At least I have weekends off, right?
And I say all this, but honestly I am realizing I am not really letting it affect me considering I just got home from going bowling on a Sunday night HAHAH. I am probably one of the least athletic people you will ever meet, but this weekend I feel like I have been kind of sporty considering I played tennis on Friday and went bowling tonight. I really forgot how fun bowling can be. The funny thing is that I actually have college credit in bowling because I took college bowling in high school and it transferred to TCU. How funny this that?!? I mean we would spend over two hours every Tuesday and Thursday in high school bowling through the community college for credit. I forgot how much I learned about the sport back in the day. We literally had a bowling book and quizzes every Thursday. I am not that great at it, but it is kind of cool knowing so much behind the physical sport.
I say I am the least athletic person you will meet, but really what that means is I am the least competitive person you will ever meet. I hate competition. I mean don't get me wrong... I love winning, but I always feel so badly for all those who do not win, which is why a lot of the times I wouldn't really even try for fear I would upset someone else. Trust me... really complicated situation for me.
Tonight I was reminded the joy one can get from doing something simply for fun. And competition is fun for some people- I get that. As long as you are enjoying yourself that is all that matters. This was a very spur of the moment idea and it turned out to be a good way to end the weekend and start the week. Speaking of, I have a test this week... WAHT IS THAT ABOUT?!?!?? Yeah idk I will let you know.
Shout out to fun people, a fun sport, and a fun time that reminds you what it is all about-- enjoying yourself! I can be thankful for that for sure.
Here's to a new week with lots in store to be thankful for!
Southern and Thankful
This morning I just could not find the energy to get out of bed. I am telling you guys, my Tuesdays and Thursdays are not fun. It is just all together a long day. I got up at the very last second. By last second, I mean one of my roommates come in and said "I think it is time to get up now." We walked to class and just after he turned off a different way to head to his class the weirdest/craziest thing happened to me.
Here's the story:
I was crossing the street, like I do everyday, and car 1 stopped mid-turn to let me finish crossing the street. Car 2 which was located behind car 1 did not get the memo that we were stopping for me to cross and car 2 proceeded to plow directly into the back of car 1 which then launched car 1 closer to me and just like that I thought I was going to get hit by a car. I am not really sure how I didn't, but I did this weird fall thing where I didn't actually fall, but kind of did and then I kind of ran as I finished crossing the street. I heard this loud crash and looked back to see all this glass and various other car parts all over the road. Needless to say everyone was okay and I continued to go to class. I was a little in shock to be honest. I mean what a fluke thing!
Later that day I was texting one of my friends. I was part joking part not joking when I was talking about how this was the third near death experience I have had in the past month. Like I said, I was part joking, but also not really cause some random things have happened that could have ended badly for me.
I said, "What does that even mean for me?!?!"
She replied, "90% of the things you worry about never happen."
I had never heard that before, but the more I started thinking about it the more it made sense. I am not sure if statistically that is true, but it makes sense...at least for me. I worry about so many things day in and day out and it is honestly not healthy for me. And the funny thing about my worries is that normally they don't ever actually happen. I just figured I would share for my worriers out there that maybe needed a little reminding. 90% is a lot if you ask me and it should leave you with a little comfort. Why worry about something when only 10% of the time it will actually happen?
I know it is easier said than done...trust me. I hate when people tell me not to worry. But just look at it this way and maybe it will leave you with a new perspective. Worry less. Watch out for cars. Stay thankful.
ps- idk where the pics are. I apologize!
Southern and Thankful
Well would you look at that...back again? If this isn't nostalgia then I don't know what is. Today I was reading in my bible and came across this section that talked about patience. I am telling you some days I open that book and it's like God is speaking directly towards me. I LOVE when that happens! I have a study bible so it wasn't pertaining to a particular verse, but more so pointing out all the various people in the bible that had patience with Christ during some of their hardest days. Recently I have found myself in a certain situation that had me praying a lot, but I got to a point where I didn't really know what I was praying for. I am not a very patient person especially when it comes to such important things. I want to know what is going to happen, when it is going to happen, and how it is going to happen. But truthfully as hard as the "waiting period" may be, I have kind of realized we can learn a lot when we wait. We get so focused on the big picture that we forget to look and ask ourselves why we are waiting in the first place.
This find in the scripture had me thinking about patient people and I couldn't help but think about my Mom who has been at Dallas Market for almost 8 days now. Market for her is a really big job. It is a lot of work and it is exhausting to say the least. And with three businesses now, this is the longest she has ever stayed. I got to go into Dallas for a couple of days and spend time with her and the rest of the CH gang, which is one of my favorite things about being in DFW. My mother has gone to Market for 20 something years now and all those years when I was still at home I never really understood how going to Dallas to shop could be so hard. I have enjoyed getting to spend time with her at market...she truly is #sheboss there. I also got to take my friends with me. Oh what a great time we had! We also went to some delicious dinners...like SO GOOD. But since Market is almost over I guess that means I have to actually go to the grocery store now :/ Congrats, Mom, on a successful market and thank you for reminding my how patience can pay off!
I asked God to help me out cause I didn't really know what to do, but I am thinking that after this morning he is telling me to be patient. I cannot begin to tell you how good that feels. Trust him. Talk to him. He will help you out.
Be patient people. God is telling me to do that therefore, here I am telling you in case maybe you needed to hear it too. Things will work out. Be patient. Stay thankful.
Southern and Thankful
I honestly should be:
a) going to bed
b) doing something on my mile long to do list
But instead I said to myself "maybe you should write" and I am not kidding in that moment tears came to my eyes--HAPPY ONES-- because the thought of that - this thing that I always used to do- brought me immense joy. So here I am avoiding life to share with you a little realization I had today.
Tuesday's and Thursday's are honestly rough for me. Long days with weird breaks and long classes. I mean I don't hate it, but when you add all the other activities it makes for a lot. All day I pretty much complained. Going from class to home to union to class to lunch to class to dinner to meeting to interview to conference call to now where I just watched Netflix because I was wondering what was going on in Tree Hill, NC (okay yes I started One Tree Hill). I was running from one thing to the other and at one point I even thought to myself "shut up if you were sitting at home bored you would be mad." #true During my interview tonight I got to talking about Southern and Thankful and I was telling a random story, but when I walked out I had this moment of clarity. I was telling them how important I find it to take the time to stop, look around, and realize how much there is to be thankful for. I mean at least that is what I would find myself doing when I was writing every single day. But after the interview I realized how wrong it was that I had forgotten to do that. It is something really little, but it is so true. One day I will want days like this back and how wrong it was to complain when these are all the things, events, and people that make me thankful.
I am lucky to be living this life, I had just forgotten how to be grateful for it. Don't forget to take a minute during the day and look around. You'll be reminded why you are where you are and hopefully a little joy will return to your heart... trust me we can all be thankful for that feeling.
Thank you God for sending me here to this moment. For bringing this joy back to me when I was in such need.
Power through this week people... and trust me a little rekindled joy will really help you. Stay thankful!
Southern and Thankful
If I am being honest with you all, which I typically am, I must share with you about my continued growing pains. I share this because I know that there must be others out there that can relate, and that if I share, it might help someone not feel like they are on "an island". School is hard. About a month ago, during finals week, I experienced a panic attack. I may, or may not have, thought I was going to die. I'm half playing when I say this, but in that moment when I could not breath...I wasn't sure just what was going to happen. If you've ever experienced anything like this, then you know it is pretty scary. Thankfully, I have really loving parents, friends, and roommates that helped me through. But, I'll admit...I couldn't shake the feeling of such heavy anxiety. Once I got home for the nice month long break, that anxiety did began to subside and I knew things were going to be okay. I've also been able to identify some reasons for this anxiety. School, academically, will always make me nervous. I want to do my very best, but I also want to have a nice balance with academics and my social life. Sometimes, this feels like an unreachable goal. Anyone else? I am a very social person who is involved in several different areas of campus life, while also seeking a positive life rooted in christianity, but that is way harder than it sounds. Last semester gave me everything I dreamed of, as I've identified in other posts, but at the same time, I've felt very off balance. Coming back to school has made me realize how hard it is to make everything work, but also how rewarding it is when it does work, and that I want to keep striving to have all these things.
Along with school, there is this overwhelming pressure of trying to figure out what I want to do with my life after graduation. All my roommates, and a lot of my friends, are seniors starting their last semester of school and it has really had me thinking about how unprepared I am for my future after TCU. I mean I am not getting any younger (lol), but truly that pressure has not been easy for me to face. I am also in search of an internship this summer that will enlighten me and help me discover more of what I want to do in the future. I am not sure what that will be or where that will be, but I am trusting that God will lead me to the proper place. If you would, pray with me about that.
And then, just the part of fitting in, and finding my place...that is always at the forefront of my mind. You guys know from reading my blog that I struggle with confidence. Having all of these new (and old) friendships is wonderful. But, do you ever feel like you are still looking at the friends that don't place you very high on their priority list, and then focus on that friend and the "whys" instead of on the ones that are bending over backwards and doing flips just to be a part of your life?? Haha! Well, I'm focusing on the ones who've gone out of their way, here in this blog, and from now on. I was lucky enough to have many people travel to my sweet home town during the Christmas break to be with me and my family. So blessed by this. Sam, JoPo, Patrick, Allie and Mandy...you guys are the best.
I am also a huge planner, as you know (haha, thank to my parents, it's in my blood). One of my friends who was supposed to come but cancelled at the last minute really put me in a tail spin. I was initially pretty irritated because I had passed up a ski trip (insert sad face here) and I had planned to drive back to school with company. So...after taking a minute to get over these hiccups...God again provided in the form of another friend; my sweet cousin/sister/friend Hillary cancelled her flight back to Dallas just to ride with me!!! Can you believe that?? I'm a pretty good friend to people and I'm not even sure I would have done that!! She is such a light in my life--THANK YOU HILL!!!
A huge thank you to my family and friends for an amazing break. I don't know how such amazing people were placed in my life, but I thank my lucky stars each day that I am surrounded by people who value me, my feelings, and my friendship. Seriously, my parents were so amazing this break hosting my various friends and putting up with their oldest moving back in for a bit. But, I think they loved it to. Atleast that is what they said...hahaha!
Anyway...cheers to family, friends and figuring it all out!!!
Southern and Thankful
And just like that... hello 2017!
I have really been reflecting on this past year...I can think of so many amazing things 2016 brought me that have impacted my life... From studying in Italy for a summer term to moving off campus to turning 21... It seemed at every turn God was teaching me something. At the same time, this year gave me something I have been praying to God for what feels like my whole life. If you are familiar with my testimony then you know something I have never really had, but always wanted: male best friends. And, just true friends that I know will be life long friends. Up until this year, that was something I didn't really have at TCU, and I would just like to say these friendships and relationships I have now formed are what I have been most thankful for in 2016. I cannot put into words how wonderful these people have been in my life and what a gift it was to gain best friends in 2016. Thank you friends for everything and for the impact you've made on my life.
2016 was also the year I realized I'm closer to adulthood than I'm ready for, and that made me realize I don't really know who I am as a person. I don't think that is a bad thing, and from what I am realizing, this comes at a different time for every person. Finding yourself is not easy, I have learned. I mean, in 2016 I went from being the church going blogger with the Southern accent from the small town in Arkansas with the pageant queen on his arm who had barely had a sip of alcohol in his whole life to the guy that is typically happy to hit the bars Thursday through Saturday that sadly doesn't have a church home in Fort Worth and only blogs when he can find the time. That sounds a little sad I know, but truly the way I have done life for the past 20+ years is changing, and I am okay with that. Again, it's not a bad thing, but it does leave me in a weird place. Trust me I spent plenty of time confused and worried as to why things were changing, but good news... I hear that's the way life is! Therefore, my main goal is to continue to learn more about myself. I deserve that! So, with that being said, here are a few goals I have for 2017:
1. Spend Less Time On My Phone
This is a BIG one for me. I love technology a whole lot, but over this year I really realized how much I hate being connected to everything, all the time. It truly is a gift and a curse. It got to a point where it was almost unhealthy for me. It is so important to live in the moment and be present. I have realized though that that it is easier said than done. I really plan to work on this over the next year and enjoy the time I have with the people and in the places I go. You never know what can happen, and I don't really want to be so dependent on my phone. I want to live my life and be happy with it exactly the way it is, and not live it looking down at my phone.
2. Be Kind To Strangers // Be Kind
Over the past year it seems like I was fortunate enough to travel to a wide variety of places around the world and I have come the realization how important it is to spread kindess. My friends and I rang in the new year in Nashville (by the way WHAT A PLACE) and last night shortly after the ball drop (well music note in music city ya know) a random women walked past me, but made sure to stop and complement my pants. She didnt have to do that. She didnt know me from Adam, but kindness just radiated from her. It was so genuine and made me realize how important it is to spread joy. Our world has changed a lot in 2016 and one thing I personally could use more of and give more of is kindess. Kindess is a choice--I encourage you to spread it in 2017.
3. Give Grace
Eariler in the semester I was sturggling in a certain friendship situation and a friend told me to "give them grace." At first I didn't really get it, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. You just have to remember that people are the way they are and often we cannot control that. We cannot worry about what we cannot control. As hard as it may be to understand that and as hard as it may be to fix that or be angry you must love the person through it and give them grace. We will be happier if we will just allow ourselves to do that in this new year.
4. Find a Church Home
I kind of slipped out of my church going habbits when I was away several weekends during the spring semeter. It is not an excuse, but it just goes to show that how easy it is to get in the habit of somehting like not going to chruch on a regual basis. I kept up with my devotional and tried to watch church online some weekends, but there is just something I enjoy about being in a church on Sunday mornings. I am going to be praying for a new home and a new opportunity to grow in this way. FORT WORTH PEEPS- If you have some recommdendations hit me up! I know God will lead me to the correct place at the correct time.
5. Write More
Again, it is obvious how easy it is to get into a pattern and writing became a thing I just did not make time for, but I also noticed how healthy writing was for me. It is a way for me to express myself, and I find that it really makes me happy. I don't necessarily want to nail down a schdeule, but I just want to take the time or be given the time to write more frequently. Southern and Thankful plans to be a little more on the active side in 2017--- WOO HOO !!!
It is not that I was dying for 2016 to be over, but I am not sad about a new year by any means. A New Year for me is always a wonderful opportunity in my eyes. Here's to leaving the negative, unnecesary worries, and troubles in 2016. Here's to leaving whatever you want in 2016 and bringing whatever you want into 2017. Here's to a New Year. Here's not to a new me, but to a stronger me. Here's to being Southern, and here's to being thankful. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Southern and Thankful
Blessed is an understatement when it comes to my life. Each and every day I am amazed by God's steadfast love. In return, I have claimed this space to show my thanks and whatever else comes along the way. A recent graduate from Texas Christian University who loves any creative insta post, all donuts, and dress pants that make you do a double take. I pray God has a grand purpose for me and I plan to get there with a little Southern and a lot of Thanks! Join me!